


Cliche Interplanetary Love Story (Now With Bath Toys)

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bathing/Washing, F/M, FIRST FIC FOR THIS SHIP HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA, Hand Jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 11:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meenah\Mituna. Meenah takes it upon herself to give Mituna a bath in the ocean and things end up getting a lot more heated than they had planned.</p>
<p>May or may not include bath toys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cliche Interplanetary Love Story (Now With Bath Toys)

A cry of protest rang out through the dream bubbles. A door slammed and Meenah Peixes dragged Mituna Captor kicking and screaming by the back of his jumpsuit down the main pathway of the dream bubbles. 

“You can’t make me, you fucking nooklicker!” Mituna screeched, digging his heels into the turf as Meenah literally dragged him backwards. Several heads turned as they watched the two of them retreat towards a small closed-off area of the beach. 

“Awww, don’t give me that carp, Tunafish, you haven’t had a bath in weeks,” Meenah said. Once they reached the shore, Meenah crossed her arms expectantly.

“What?” Mituna asked.

“Well, you can’t have a bath with your helmet and jumpsuit on, can you?” Meenah asked. She reached towards him and undid the catch of his helmet, sliding it off. She had to stifle a smile as Mituna’s hair fell in his eyes and stuck out everywhere. She reached out her hand, pausing for a second before brushing his hair back from his eyes. Mituna didn’t flinch, he just blinked at the sudden light in his eyes. 

“Well? Aren’t you going to take my clothes off too?” Mituna asked, smiling.

Meenah sighed. “Where even is the zipper on this thing anyway?” she asked, examining the front of Mituna’s jumpsuit. She finally found it, near the collar, and unzipped it from the front, easing it off his shoulders. Mituna let her undress him that far, but pinned the suit to his hips, not letting it slide off any further.

“You know, you need to get fully naked if you want to take a bath, Tunafish,” Meenah pouted and tugged on his jumpsuit again. Mituna let it go at last, leaving him completely naked. Meenah only had a few seconds to look him up and down before he turned around and began wading into the water. He only got in up to his mid-chest before he began thrashing around, shouting and swearing. 

Meenah sighed. If he kept that up, he really was going to drown. She stripped down to her underwear and dove into the water, swimming underwater straight for where Mituna was thrashing around. She wrapped her arms around his waist and towed him into shallow water, avoiding his flailing arms. He was a whole lot taller than she was, and the way he was thrashing around made it very difficult to get a hold on him, but she managed to tow him into the shallows. 

Even after he managed to calm down, she still held him. 

“You betta be glad that I’m a good swimmer, or you’d be fish food by now,” Meenah glared at him. “You got it?” 

Mituna nodded, trying to push his soaked hair out of his eyes. Meenah dragged him to a rock where he could sit comfortably and still be partially submerged. Then, she retrieved a bar of soap from behind a rock and began working up a lather and massaging bubbles into his hair. When her fingers moved down to Mituna’s shoulders, she could feel his muscles tense up at her touch, then relax. She lingered there, rubbing his shoulder blades and massaging his collarbone, then swiped the bar of soap across his chest, rubbing it into his scars. His muscles tensed up when she ran her thumb along one of the larger ones. Meenah met his gaze, giving him a concerned look.

“I’m sorry,” Mituna muttered.

“No. You don’t have to be sorry for this, Tuna,” Meenah said, and she kissed Mituna’s scar in the spot where her fingers had brushed. 

She rested her hand on his knee, absent-mindedly rubbing a bit of soap there, when she noticed something. Both of Mituna’s bulges seemed to be coming out of their sheath, and his face was tinted slightly yellow as he, too, noticed this fact. She gathered soap on the palm of her hand and slid it higher up on his inner thigh. Mituna let out a funny little gasp, but his bulges stayed at the same level. She slid her hand up even higher until her fingers were practically brushing his nook. His bulges rose another half inch. More out of curiosity than anything else, Meenah slid a slick, soap covered finger into Mituna’s nook. She felt him tighten around her finger, heard him let out a curse word. His bulges were fully hard now, both of the bulge heads poking out of the water. Meenah was impressed. Mituna, however, looked like a disaster waiting to happen. He had his eyes squeezed shut and was gripping Meenah’s shoulder, his nails digging into her skin. 

“Hey, relax, Tunafish. If you want, I can stop,” Meenah said.

Mituna opened one eye. “No, no. Keep going.”

Meenah trailed her fingers up one of Mituna’s bulges, then gripped both of them in one hand, stroking them at a slow pace. Mituna bit his lip, watching her. She stroked them harder, listening to the soft sounds that Mituna was making. When Mituna met her gaze again, she was so close, dangerously close, and she captured his lips with her own, her tongue darting out to flick against his lips and enter his mouth. She kissed him slowly, cautiously, and when she faced no resistance, she grew a bit more passionate. Her hand was still working against his bulges, and soon her fingers grew slick with precum. Mituna moaned against her lips, and she grinned and took his lower lip between her teeth, pulling him closer. Always closer. 

She wondered if her Alternian self did the same thing to Mituna’s, when they were on the warship all alone. She wondered why the Condesce- yes, that was her name- chose to fancy him, and if she ever lengthened his life with a kiss, or confided in him something she would never tell another one of her underlings. 

Mituna cried out, his sounds of pleasure muffled by Meenah’s lips, and he spilled into her hand and all over her fingers. Water washed over her hands, carrying away the evidence of what they had done, and Meenah lay her head on Mituna’s shoulder. They were silent for a few seconds before Meenah slid her arms under Mituna’s knees and lower back, lifting him and carrying him into the water. She held him close, letting water sweep over both of them and wash away the soap and excess traces of genetic material.

She wondered if the Condesce ever held her Helmsman like that, and if she did, if there was anyone that she told.

**Author's Note:**

> i believe this is the first fic on ao3 for this ship
> 
> also when i was posting this i thought 'rub a dub dub time to make grubs' and i nearly choked on soda omfg


End file.
